Traveling the world as a single parent

traveling the world as a single parent

Your child assumes a responsibility as your travel partner. You are not the parent traveling with your child. You’re traveling together. It puts the responsibility on your child, and there’s no shame in this.- Joy Lopez

Traveling the World as a Single Parent

You love going on vacations with your family. Your partner is there to help you, and you couldn’t imagine traveling the world without their help. So, what do you do when the unexpected happens and you divorce or separate from your partner? Do you stop traveling with your children or do you start traveling the world as a single parent?

Determining the best way to travel abroad with children

There are many reasons for single parents to stop traveling with their children. It can be more difficult to be responsible for everything and everyone. It’s much more expensive to travel when you don’t have that second income. It’s easier to lose your patience when you’re the only parent listening to your children complain about doing something they don’t want to do or eating something they don’t want to eat. But with all this being said, what it comes down to is do you believe there is a benefit to traveling the world with your children? If your answer is yes, then you can find a way to make it happen. Your outlook will guide the experience to ensure you and your children have a memorable time.

It’s not easy to transition from family travel to single-parent travel

It is true it’s not the same when you travel with your children as a single parent. You’re reminded by it with everything you do, whether it’s going through TSA, entertaining your children on the flight, or navigating how and what you’re doing at each destination.

“Transitioning from family to single parent is hard because families are what’s traveling. Your feelings of resentment and frustration can start as soon as you start looking.” – Joy Lopez

Joy Lopez, single mother to nine-year-old Wilson, was surprised by the positive aspects of traveling as a single parent as well. In some respects, she felt it was easier because she could do what she wanted on the trip instead of taking her partner’s opinions into consideration. It also made it easier to find dates to travel since she only needed to consider her schedule instead of her partner’s. Joy made a great point by highlighting that when you travel solo with your children, your children focus less on the fact that only one parent is there and focus more on the airplane ride and the new experiences. If you focus on the excitement, your children will be excited. If you wallow or focus on the negative aspects of the change in dynamic, your children will pick up on that negativity as well.

Focus on the positive side of traveling solo with your children

Another positive outcome of traveling as a single parent is that it pushes you out of your comfort zone. If your children want to engage in an activity that normally your partner would participate in, it forces you to step out of your comfort zone to enjoy that new experience with your children. It also forces your child to step up as your travel partner.

“Your child assumes a responsibility as your travel partner. You are not the parent traveling with your child. You’re traveling together. It puts the responsibility on your child, and there’s no shame in this.”  – Joy Lopez

Not only does this help you to stay sane and less overwhelmed, but your child enjoys feeling like the “big boy” or “big girl.” How many times do your children try to do something you think they are too young to do? They do this because they enjoy feeling empowered and love being able to help you and show off their abilities.

Parents are stronger than they realize

There is a lot of strength and courage required to travel as a single parent. The best part is if you focus on the experience for your children, you don’t realize how much strength and courage it’s requiring from you because it’s just something you know you need to do if you want to give your children the experience. When you think about it, as parents, this is what we have been doing since the day our children were born.

As far as the cost, there is no denying this becomes more difficult as a single parent. There are still many ways to make it happen though, so don’t let money be the reason you don’t travel with your children. Get an airline credit card to pay for your flights. Travel with your friends or family so you can share the expenses with them. Consider flying at crazy times or off-season when the cost is lower. As you start to travel, you will meet many great people from around the world. Don’t be afraid to take them up on their offer to visit and stay with them. They can always say no, but what do you have to lose?

Adventures await you and your children

What it all comes down to is the fact that while there are many components that change the dynamic of traveling with your children as a single parent, there are still so many adventures for you and your children available for the taking. Start where you can start and expand from there.

Do you have any other international travel tips for single parents? Are there any benefits to traveling solo with your kids abroad that were missed? Please post your comments below.

To hear more about Joy and Wilson’s overseas travel adventures and international travel tips, listen to them on the Planes, Trains, & Kids Abroad travel podcast at https://bigworldpub.com/listen-to-travel-podcast/

Written by: Erika Bud. You can find out more about the  author, the Travel Rangers book series, and travel podcast at:  http://bigworldpub.com/

 

002: Traveling the World as a Single Mom & Student

Joy is an inspiration to so many single moms. It’s difficult enough being a single mom, but when you add on school and traveling the world with a limited budget, it’s remarkable how she does it all. Join us as Joy provides international travel tips, explains how family travel abroad changed once she got divorced, and explains how she plans affordable international vacations. Don’t miss a special bonus when I am joined by Wilson, Joy’s nine-year-old son, as he explains why parents should travel abroad with their children. I think you’ll finish this episode with a smile…I know I did!

To find out more about the host, the Travel Rangers book series, or if you want to be a guest on this show, go to: https://bigworldpub.com/

To get updates on upcoming podcasts, share stories, pictures, or tips, or ask questions related to family travel abroad, follow us on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/planestrainskidsabroad

Overseas Travel Adventures – Should You Bring Your Children?

Deciding not to travel with your children because they won’t remember the trips you take is like saying don’t read them books because they won’t remember the stories you read. – Unknown

Consider an international family vacation

Overseas Travel Adventures – Should you Bring Your Children?

Like so many parents who love overseas travel adventures, I would not consider an international family vacation until my son was old enough to appreciate it. Why would I take him? He won’t remember anything. He’ll complain about being tired or hungry. The long flight will be a nightmare. I won’t be able to do anything I want to do because what I am interested in, won’t be interesting to him.

Wow, putting this into words makes me feel like the worst parent in the world but, I’m not. I’ve just had my share of parenting struggles and when I travel, I want to be selfish. I want to go away on vacation and enjoy every moment of it without a care in the world. As a parent, it’s ok to let yourself have those special moments, but was it fair that I was choosing to take away these experiences from my son?

The selfish side of a woman who loves to travel abroad

When my son was three, his father and I divorced. It was the last thing I ever wanted for my child, but as we all know, life doesn’t always work out the way we plan. What did this mean for the woman who had traveled to almost thirty countries before she was a parent? It meant I had a built-in babysitter of course! It meant traveling would now be easier knowing my son would be well cared for while I was away. Of course I was going to miss him, but I deserved to indulge occasionally too, right?

The selfish side kicked in and I started planning my next trip. I messaged my friend who lives in England and asked her if she wanted to meet me in Frankfurt, and that was that. I went on a Rhine River cruise for eight days and had an amazing time making new memories with wonderful people. I missed my son, but I checked in every day to let him know I missed him and reminded myself that he would be ok while I was gone. And he was. When I returned, it felt like he barely knew I was gone, even though I know he did. But the trip reignited my passion for travel, and I was committed to traveling overseas at least once per year.

The trip that changed it all

When I was on my river cruise, I met my Australian sister from another mother. When we parted ways in Amsterdam, she and her husband invited me to visit them in Adelaide, Australia. I had lived in Australia for three years, but I had never been to Adelaide and hey, leaving winter to spend time at the beach sounded great. But how could I leave my son already, three months after I returned from my last trip? Then again, how many opportunities do you get to stay with amazing people in a wonderful country?

The battle continued as I thought about the expensive flights and how hard it would be traveling by myself, with a five-year-old, enduring almost two days of travel each way. You’d have to be insane and besides, what’s the point when he won’t remember it anyway? It came down to the fact that I could either spend my first New Year’s Eve divorced, by myself at home, or celebrate it by traveling to Australia with my son. I’m sure you can guess which option won. I thought I was crazy but the idea of passing up on this opportunity sounded even crazier. I got my son’s passport ready and booked the flights. We were going to Australia!

Your child may surprise you

Of course, my son had no idea what was going on. He was just excited that he was going to be on an airplane and that he would be able to watch movies and play video games for hours on end. I braced myself for horrible travel days. I mean I didn’t even like traveling for that long. There was no way my son was going to make it through these two days without at least one tantrum.

The night before our departure, one of our flights was canceled and we now had a 16-hour layover in China. I couldn’t believe it. How was I going to entertain my child in the airport for 16 hours? I figured the best option was to take the airline up on their offer for a free hotel, get a temporary visa at the airport, and make our way into the city of Guangzhou, and that’s what we did.

You are stronger than you realize

Luckily, my son didn’t have any meltdowns on the flight over, but I was going by myself into a foreign country with my son. I was nervous, but I figured it was the only way we were going to make it through the long layover. We would be able to take a nap and I knew we would both desperately need it by that time. We got on a bus arranged by the hotel at the airport (so I felt rather safe), but I was still nervous.

As we started driving away from the airport, my nerves went away (for the most part) when I looked at my son. His facial expression as he looked out of the window let me know I made the right decision. He was in awe. He kept squealing with excitement, telling me to look out of the window because he wanted to make sure I saw everything that was new to him. It made my heart smile. When we arrived at the hotel, we ate in the hotel restaurant, and he tried the local food. He was looking around the entire time, soaking it all in. We then went to our room, took a long nap, and made our way back to the airport. The look of awe rarely left his face.

The turning point that completely changed my perspective

When we returned to the airport, what I saw there would completely change my mind about taking my son with me overseas. As we were sitting in the terminal, waiting for our plane, my son wanted to play on the moving walkway. It was the middle of the night, and the airport was fairly empty, so I let him play. A little Chinese boy smiled at him and before I knew it, the two were playing together, smiling, and laughing the entire time. Neither one of them understood the language spoken but they understood the universal smile, and that was all it took.

I realized from that moment, that not only was I opening his eyes to a new culture and perspective, but he was learning to see people for what they had in common and not for their differences. He learned that even though he couldn’t understand the boy, he was still a friend because he smiled, and that’s all that mattered. I loved that I gave that experience to my son and from that moment on, I wanted to fill his life with many more experiences like that.

Author Erika Bud and her son feeding a kangaroo in Australia

We ended up having an incredible time in Australia. My son got to feed kangaroos and pet koalas. He was surrounded by people who sounded different than him, but he didn’t care because they were so nice to him. He tasted his first pancakes with ice cream and swam in the Indian Ocean. It really is just like reading a book with your child when they are young. While they may not remember every character or every story, when they read the story, they are forming their perspectives and ideas of how they look at other people and the world in general.

Traveling to other countries broadened my son’s perspective and introduced him to new cultures and for that, I will forever be grateful. I have now chosen a career that allows me to travel with my son. I will still travel on my own as I do have a different experience when I travel with adults, but I will keep traveling with my son a priority. I now understand just how much it will contribute to the boy he is and the man he will one day become.

 

Written by: Erika Bud. You can find out more about the  author, Travel Rangers book series, and travel podcast at:  http://bigworldpub.com/